We met our friend to have supper with the our couple friend at Geylang for dim sum on Monday night & a friend of mine mentioned on the Jetstar on-going promotion to Taipei which cost abt $279 per pax/round trip. I was a bit tempted to it cos have always wanted to go but never had a chance to. Sad right?? My bf seems a bit interested so i went back to my company the next day to see if i have sufficient leave for this trip.
I received an sms from my friend yesterday night on the total charges for flight & hotel. As i was busy so am unable to return msg to her. Cos we planned to have a 1 week trip there in Aug due of the PH. The cost of the hotel seems a bit steep for me so i decided to have a check in net to see if there is any cheaper bargain. I found that direct booking with the hotel is cheaper than those which book through some online booking agent.
I was anxious of my finding & send an sms to my friend to inform her on this. We are exciting discussing on the cost & before anything i need to check if my bf have book his leave for the trip. I called him up & checked with him, in the end we ended the call unhappy.
He feel he is quite financially tight these few months becos of a lot of spending this month. I keep asking him if he really dun want to go, what i gotten from his reply is.. Can. can go.. spend all the money lor if you wanna go.. i feel so upset.. if he do not want to go could say so, but then he say dunno leh all the time. The worse is he quickly end our conversation by saying.. well, that it right, then bye!! I gonna put down the phone.
Well, i was feeling upset & useless at that moment. Upset is becos of his reply to me. If he feel that way, we can have our trip cancelled. I am ok with it. The most i can still have the trip next year with my friends. I dunno why he have to sound in this way & made me feel that i am demanding. To me it's just a trip no big deal although a bit disappointing.
Feeling useless cos this gave me a track back of what he had told me sometime back. Remember he told me that his friend can buy his gf/wife this & that becos anything happen he still have his wife to support him what abt u?? I was like, thanks for reminding that i am poor, useless & unable to supportive to him if anything happen. This kind of things cannot be compare as both of us gals work & earn in different ways. She had a shop as income where at times maybe earning more or less. As for me, i am just only a normal 8-6pm account gal with a fixed income earning less than market value outside.
At times, he feel that my friend can get a Gucci bag for his hubby but what can i give him?? He likes expensive watch which i wish to buy it for him but my income does not allow me to. What can i a person like me who have lots of burden on hand buy these kind of things. I felt so helpless. If i am born to have a golden spoon on my mouth, do i have to feel in this way??
On my way back home, many thoughts flowed into my mind & this thing have been making me feel so depressed that i shed tears. Not becos of the trip cancelled but was this thing that made me feel so upset.
Is it true that people who are born to be poor will be helpless in this kind of thing?? I really felt so.
Anyway, i still wanna thanks my friend for inviting us to join them for the trip cos she knows that i really wanted to go but too bad guys i still have to forgo this trip again. Hopefully, we will have it another time.
I do hope to get over everything & have a happy start tomorrow. Yes, I can do it!
" Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key. "
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